Adoption Photo Blog

Some highlights of our first family trip to the zoo…

This is about all of Charlotte you’ll see from this trip - she spent most of her time asleep in the back of the stroller (about 15 minutes maybe) or in the sling around my neck. So, there’s her sling strap!

My favorite exhibit, the coke machine in its natural habitat.

Alpacas have great teeth…

we went to the zoo for the first time
Landon turned six and we went to his bowling party
Charlotte was evaluated for services through TEIS
Amanda (”A-Panda”) came to visit
we went with Mary Elizabeth to get her ears pierced
Charlotte & I visited with Lynette, the girls’ birthmother
Jadyn came over to play
Brad & I sought counseling over decisions we need to make for our family
lots of easter egg hunting
Charlotte began Occupational Therapy 2x per week
the tornado came through Murfreesboro
celebrated Easter with our families
Brad & I started a new small group
Charlotte began Physical Therapy once a week
Norah began new Day School 5 days a week and LOVES it
final post placement visit from our adoption social worker
Norah cutting 2-year molars made night-times challenging
Charlotte went to Pediatric Eye Specialist, diagnosed with Optic Nerve Hypoplasia in both eyes and confirmed legally blind
Early Intervention teacher began seeing Charlotte once a week
We put our “YES!” on the table
Meet with our attorney to begin process of finalizing Charlotte’s adoption
moved Norah to a “big girl bed” (full sized bed)
VBS Meetings
Jason & Shai announce they are moving to Washington in June
Hopped on a plane to TX to be with Brea when Joshua was born
Visit family for Mothers day weekend
My second Mothers Day was so precious with 2 girls to celebrate with
Brad & I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary
Played in the rain and went to Sarah’s graduation party
Lanie Ann turns 2 and we celebrated at her Little Mommy party
Charlotte got her first 2 teeth
Hair day at Brea’s house for Norah, Charlotte, Jordyn & Mary Elizabeth to get their hair styled
Norah’s 2nd birthday party at our house on Memorial Day weekend
Small Group cookout at our house on Memorial Day
Norah turns 2
Charlotte slept through the night a couple times
Norah’s 2 year checkup and Charlotte gets a shot
Brad worked hard at two jobs, I took some pictures and edited them when I had time
the girls grew, a lot

I’m planning to move forward and post from here, but I just wanted to give you the run down on what’s been up with us. Hopefully some flashback posts will make their way in here to share great pictures from the last 3 months.

Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.

I am sure by now you thought we fell off the face of the earth! But it’s not true…the Adoption Photo Blog will be back and better than ever in just a few short days. I am renewing my commitment to share my thoughts with the five people who might still want to read them world.

See you soon!

I guess it wouldn’t be spring in Tennessee without tornados flying around.

Our home is just a few miles down the road from the path of the storm. Thankfully we didn’t sustain any damage in our home, but others were not as fortunate.

Brea and her kids and the girls and I were all hanging out in Murfreesboro today. We went to the Discovery Center to let the kids play, and then went to Toot’s for lunch. We knew the weather was bad, and decided that getting in off the road was the smartest thing we could do. We put our names in, and sat down in the lobby space between the two sets of double doors. We flanked our six kids on one big bench. We were keeping an eye on the tv and the sky, and trying to keep the kids entertained with snacks from my backpack and chit chat.

The door flew open, and a guy came in the door quickly and threw down his lit cigarette and kept moving. His intensity alerted both of us, and Brea jumped up first and stepped out the door to look…and this is what she saw.

(Photo from Toot’s parking lot from the Murfreesboro Post website.)

She stepped back in the door and her face was white and she said “it’s a tornado, and it’s huge” just as calmly as she could. We got the kids up quickly, muscled our way through everyone waiting in the lobby and shoved the kids into women’s bathroom floor. Brea’s big kids assumed the tornado drill position, and Brea and I held onto the babies behind them and prayed, devising our plans in our heads for if something were to actually hit us.

After a few minutes we received the all clear, and we emerged from the bathroom. After a few more minutes of waiting, we got to our table where we got AWESOME service. The kids all had hot dog baskets within minutes of sitting down and that seemed to take care of the drama they had endured.

After we ate, it took us nearly two hours to get home because of all the road closures. Charlotte pretty much cried in her seat the entire time we sat in traffic. The phones were so jammed that I couldn’t even call Brea each time we got re-routed and she was just in the car behind me. Thankfully the blackberry messenger came through for Brad and me, so we were able to keep in touch through the whole thing.

Our church is organizing crews to help clear debris tomorrow…if you want to volunteer to help tornado victims in Murfreesboro, TN you are needed. You can also drop off water, non-perishable food and snacks for volunteers, etc. at one of our five Easter services this weekend.

Please continue to pray for those involved and always remember to take weather warnings seriously when you hear them.

Three different, unrelated people sent me this same short story in response to my post about Charlotte’s diagnosis. I believe the Lord laid it on the hearts of these women to share it with me, and I was touched by it, so I am sharing it with you.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Well, it’s been a week since I shared with you the news of Charlotte’s diagnosis and I think you’ll be happy to read my thoughts today.

First, I just want to say thank you to our family and friends. Thank you for your outpouring of love and care in so many ways. Thank you for respecting our wishes to not be bombarded with questions. Thank you for the notes of support and expressions of prayers. Thank you for bringing food, drinks and checking on us to see if you could help. Thank you for doing our laundry, cleaning our house and taking Norah out to play. Thank you for being there for us.

I thought I would give a little more positive update to how our baby girl is doing. Though actually seeing the photos of her brain and hearing all of the worst-case scenarios hit us hard last week, emotionally we have arrived at a much better place this week. Since our appointment, Charlotte has begun her prescription of Keppra, a seizure medication, and seems to be responding to it very well. Though her EEG was clear and she wasn’t having any grand mal seizures, her neurologist feels certain that she was having petit mal seizures regularly, and he wanted to begin this medication. We have noticed a huge difference in Charlotte’s disposition since beginning this medication. She seems more calm and relaxed, and even will ride some in her car seat without crying the entire time. There have been a few times this week that we think she might have been looking at something. We do not attribute these successes merely to a medication, but to the power of prayer and the One who answers prayers.

We are excited to begin therapies through Tennessee Early Intervention Services (or TEIS as it is commonly referred to) in the next few weeks. TEIS works with children who have developmental delays and by law will provide services free of charge to families until the child turns three. At age three, if the child still qualifies for special education services, the school system picks up and provides services. It is a fabulous program! Charlotte will be undergoing a vision assessment this week so that the Occupational and Physical Therapists will know how best to teach us to work with her. Her OT and PT will hopefully get going in April. We have been told that early intervention will be the key to helping Charlotte’s brain compensate for the areas that are missing. We are hopeful with all the things that she CAN do, that she will be able to learn to do more in time.

On Monday I am taking Charlotte to visit with the girls’ birthmother, Lynette, and will be sharing with her all that is going on with Charlotte for the first time. If you think about it on Monday morning, please say a prayer for all of us. I know it will be an emotional morning for both of us.

So, I guess that’s all from me for now…Hope you have a great weekend!

“The Holy Spirit helps us with our weakness. We do not know how to pray as we should. But the Spirit himself speaks to God for us, even begs God for us with deep feelings that words cannot express.”
Romans 8:26

Over the past three months we have been investigating some concerning medical symptoms that we noticed in our little Charlotte. There are many things we saw, but the most glaring issue is that we believe she cannot see.

As we attended doctors appointments, tests, etc. we had the chance to process and come to terms with what we felt like her future and ours might be like if she had a visual impairment. Though not what we originally hoped and dreamed for our sweet baby, we know that God has good plans for us, not plans to hurt us. He will give us hope and a good future. (Jeremiah 29:11.

At today’s neurology appointment to review Charlotte’s MRI from a week ago, we received some pretty tough news. Charlotte was born with schizencephaly (”schiz” meaning “split” and “encephaly” meaning “of the brain”). You can click on the link to read a very clinical description of it, but I will attempt to share what we have been able to digest so far from Charlotte’s doctor’s description.

Charlotte’s brain was not fully developed during pregnancy. She has some large holes or ‘clefts’ where most people normally have brain matter. From our doctor’s comments, her schizencephaly is pretty severe - and we saw the large fluid-filled spaces on her MRI images for ourselves today while he explained things to us.

According to the doctor, it is really hard to say how things will look for her in the future. The parts of the brain that seem to be mal-formed are parts controlling sensory and motor functions, though it’s early to know if the rest of the brain will compensate and pick up some of those functions. Currently, other than her vision still being in question, and being tense and rigid with stiff muscle tone, we haven’t noticed any areas really lagging too far behind. She drinks her bottle fine, eats cereal/fruits/veggies, and she coos, laughs and smiles socially in response to familiar people (especially big sister Norah!). Due to her age however, there aren’t many measurable physical milestones that have been missed yet…so it’s hard to say. We will begin medication immediately to prevent seizures and also begin physical and occupational therapies in the coming months to help with sensory and motor skills.

There were many “what if’s” today during our discussion, and for me, I will have to process it in pieces. There will be many more blog posts about our journey, but I want to challenge you to read Psalm 139 with us this weekend and meditate on its promises when thinking about us and praying for our family.

Verse 13 - God made Charlotte’s whole being; He formed her in her mother’s body. We praise Him because He made her in an amazing and wonderful way…Verse 16 - God saw Charlotte’s body as it was formed. All the days planned for her were written in His book before she was one day old… I could go on and on sharing the promises for Charlotte that are found in His word.

It is true, we are grieving today and likely for days and months ahead. But we have hope in Christ that one day Charlotte will be fully healed and restored. The timing of that day is already planned, and we are called to walk forward and give her our best…the best love and care, the best of our experiences, and that is what we plan to do; not for our own glory, but because it will bring glory to God.

Catch your breath. Wipe your eyes and your nose. Enjoy these pictures of my girls hanging out last week and smile… Charlotte and Norah are a great joy and blessing to so many. A medical diagnosis does not change that at all.

Other requests…if you’ll indulge me…we KNOW that you care for us and we are so thankful for that. We are still very emotional and in a church family as large as ours, the possibility for us to spend our entire Sunday morning talking about this is real - and honestly makes me want to stay home to avoid it. We would prefer to stand beside you and serve, instead of off to the side in the same conversations again and again. We would love your prayers, hugs and a little bit of space.

If you have specific questions or if you want to contact us, please do so through this email instead of by phone. And please don’t take those requests as cold or impersonal - they are just ways for us to cope and keep our family moving forward with hope.

Even if you don’t know how or what to pray, the Holy Spirit will pray on your behalf, and we appreciate you remembering us before the Lord.

I know I talk about Encores & More North Childrens Consignment Sale every time it rolls around, but trust me, its for a good reason. Well, really a few good reasons.

Reason One: My dear friend Brea and her husband Jonathan own the sale. They are honest and hardworking people and they do so much for their consignors, workers and customers. It is a pleasant experience to do business with them.

Reason Two: Kids go through clothes and gear SO quickly that it hardly loses its value and it’s no longer of use for your family.

Reason Three: With todays economy, many families, including ours, are watching their budget a little more closely. This is a great place to find deals on clothes for everyday use, and also to shop for boutique and new with tag name brand clothing for a fraction of the cost.

Reason Four: This season’s sale is in a fabulous location - the old Goody’s building in Rivergate, next to Old Navy and Best Buy. HUGE space, plenty of room to spread out and contemplate your purchases.

Reason Five: Profit from this sale will help Brea & Jonathan add another child to their family through adoption. What better cause than to shop for things you were going to buy anyway and give a child a loving home all at the same time!

I took my camera tonight when I went to hang out for a little while - you won’t believe how awesome it looks!

Jonathan hanging the sign on the huge ladder

From the back corner

Whole back wall is shoes all the way across…

From the back wall, looking down the center aisle. Girls clothes on one side, boys on the other, gear in the middle.

Close up on swings/bouncy seats

Close up on exersaucers/cribs

Close up on strollers

Close up on play equipment

I am SO excited to go and shop - maybe a couple of times since things get marked down on the last few days.

Tell Brea you saw this post so she knows I sent you!

I can’t even believe I am typing this.

I took this picture on Wednesday morning…my sweet and innocent little baby girl, looking beautiful in her dress that Christy made for her. We had a fun day playing with friends and going to church. She slept all night in her crib.

And the next day she went to school, and just wouldn’t take a nap in her bed. I was excited, because that meant I got to bring her home and put her down for a nap, and maybe get a few more things done around the house. I put her in her crib, and came back into the living room to feed Charlotte. Norah was talking but nothing out of the ordinary. I got Charlotte settled down and decided to make myself a snack. I was in the kitchen, and I heard “Mama, Poop!!!” except it wasn’t on the baby monitor! It was right in front of me. I gasped because honestly it scared me and my first thought was “did someone let her out of her bed?” And then I laughed, and then I realized that was probably not the best thing to do. So I changed her diaper (which was dirty as she had told me), and tried to put her back in the bed, but she showed me quickly by jumping up on the rail that it wouldn’t be long before she was right back out - and her bed is pretty high. I didn’t want any more broken arms on my conscience…

So no-nap Norah got to sleep in her toddler bed last night. It only takes about 4 screws to take the front panel off, so we transitioned it last night and got her into bed by about 9. We followed the same technique that SuperNanny shows on TV all the time - just walking them back to bed without talking, over and over again…it worked after about 30 minutes and actually without any crying.

She woke up around 4:30AM because of the storms, and Brad walked her back in and found her pacifier and she is still in bed asleep. I snuck in to snap a few pictures…

I am not looking forward to nap time today, but at least we know she CAN do it. Now we’ll see how things go moving forward…Goodbye baby…Hello Little Girl!

In typical second child fashion, I neglected to have Charlotte’s pictures made at 3 months, so these are her 4 Month photos. Also, since I had such a fabulous time doing Norah’s formal portraits (ok mostly the 9 and 12 month sessions were the ones that made me say, “never again”), I decided to just allow myself to be the Mom and not the photographer for Charlotte. So my friend and talented photographer Kristin was gracious enough to be Charlotte’s photographer for her Baby Panel.

Here’s a few of my favorites…

Probably the one for the first spot in the panel

And others I love…

I spend a lot of time holding Charlotte, so this is my favorite photo - my view of my sweet little girl…

Thanks so much to Kristin for being patient enough to work with us and listen to all my ideas. I highly recommend Kristin if you’re looking for a photographer for photos like these.

I have decided to do Charlotte’s next session when she can sit up, whenever she decides to do that, so stay tuned.